Years ago, in 1978, Life showed me a formula for working with what I had that turned it into more. Frequently, what I received  exceeded that which I could imagine  myself having.  I began a course in learning to live in a way that connected me to the essential creative power that we’ve each been given.  Are we God?  No.  But we’re one with God and with Life, no matter what name we use to call our Higher Power.

If you’re willing to give less than ten minutes a day to this simple activity, you can change your life in less than two months.  Most of us spend that much time creating pain and misery for ourselves.  Why not take those ten minutes and use them to turn the dross in our lives into gold?

Each of us can become an Alchemist.

When the miracles we create are for the Higher Good, they’ll appear (usually) more quickly.  We’ll have more power.   But we can use this activity to create miracles for ourselves, too.  We can have an abundant life –  whatever “abundance” means to us.  When our needs are met, we’re in the strongest position possible to serve others altruistically.

When this site first opened, the book that it accompanies wasn’t released yet.  We didn’t know what to expect so we created a simple site.  The book has been out for a short time now.  With over three hundred posts or comments, we realized  a simple site wouldn’t do.

That’s why we’ve now turned it into a forum.  The forum divided itself naturally into three sections: Help, What to Expect, and Success Stories.  The “Help” Section  answers most  questions about how to do the activity. If you don’t find your answer there, ask.

“”What to Expect” contains people’s comments on life changes taking place at different stages in their process of working this activity.

“Success Stories”  are reports from people — most of whom have stuck with the activity for forty days and want to share what happened from working this activity.

Browse the site.  Search for answers to questions.   Post new questions or ideas, or update us on how the activity works for you.  Most importantly,  become familiar  with the growing community of people who have learned to make miracles a way of life.

Melody responds to most questions herself, unless she’s immersed in a project. She’ll come up for air and respond to your comment or question — but you may have to be patient.  The fun part of this site is that  enough people are becoming experts at creating miracles and doing the activity that the Miracle Community is self-sustaining.  It operates the way a good group should — giving and receiving support whether Melody shows up that particular day or not.  People take what they need,  give what they can, and it works.

Where do you need a miracle?  At home?  With your family?  For yourself?  In romance?  Spirituality?  Finances?  Maybe it’s something you think of as minor, such as dropping some weight.  Whatever your need, a miracle waits around the corner, one that meets your needs perfectly.  Come on in.

We now require registration, but all you need to do to register is create a screen name and password.

Captcha can be annoying and difficult to get right, but spam can be more annoying.  If you can’t read the words, keep clicking the spot on the top right.  Eventually, letters will show up that you can type correctly.  Before attempting to post though, copy what you’ve written by highlighting  it and then pressing Control C.  That way, if you don’t get the Captcha words right, you won’t lose your post.  All you need to do is position the cursor in the comment box,  press Control V, and  your comment reappears.   Remember to copy your post again by highlighting it and pressing Control C – just in case you get the Captcha part wrong.

This site is  here to help you get the most out of  reading and practicing the activity in Make Miracles in Forty Days, to answer  questions, to help you figure out how to apply the activity to your  particular situation, and to support you as you recreate your life.

We’re a community of people actively participating in creating the miracles we need.  As the need presents itself, we’ll continue to grow and expand – allowing visitors to post pictures if they want.  Meanwhile, we invite you to comment or post about how this activity works for you.   Join us now as making miracles becomes a way of life for you.

661 Responses to “Home”

  • Debbie:

    Dear Melody..I just finished reading Codependent No More as it sat on my husbands nite stand. It was sent to his daughter, who now loves with us! Oy Vey! The book was a wonderful read as it opened up my eyes to the depth of codependency..I was never allowed to have a voice, well maybe a voice, but no decision making power to this 22 yr old living in my house..and with her drug habits, alcohol habits, and father who will jump through hoops to defend and protect her, I must confess that this has made life more than ugly. Last evening I was verbally abused by this child because her dog must have gotten in her room and ate her weed..naturally I was blamed, and cursed out by this wild child to a degree to which I had never allowed from anyone in my life! Her father did tell her to stop and show some respect, to which she replied, that b—h doesn’t deserve any respect! This seems to be the norm every time this girl has been around her father..She becomes the wife, and I, the child…All his G-dly understanding goes to hell where she is involved. I must confess that I am dealing with my own form of codependency in that I am always trying to fix everything for everyone, and have used love, which is, in the depth of my heart the under lying factor to my trying to get in Gods way…which I dare say does not work no matter how much we love..Dealing with my own control issues has not been the greater challenge for me actually..I am happy to let go and let G-d..I have done that with my own children who are now grown as well..What I am dealing with is my husbands codependency with his daughter most of all. I can deal with my issues..and am not fearful of dealing with them, but rather excited to move on to greater wisdom and quality of life.amen I read and study Torah everyday…it is the manual to help us discern that which is right and wrong…You book has also been a blessing to me as I was able to understand that which I was not aware of not being an addict. Though I did use drugs in my teens, was married to a drug addict…I threw him out! Your book was not so much to open my eyes to the addict, but to the ones who are willing for all the wrong reasons to enable them. It was classic to my husband! I hate to see him so abused, so manipulated…he is such a great guy! But so weak when it comes to her…he read half the book and then seemed to let it collect dust..I picked it up and read the entire book in a day with some breaks in between… He really believes that he is going to be the one to rescue her from herself…he really believes that he is bigger than G-d! We have battled for yrs over this girl…I have tried to help her many times, but she used the money I would send her to buy heroine while pregnant! When I found that out she never got another dime from me…but now, once again she is in our house and knows that when push comes to shove, she will over ride me with her father…My gut feeling is that he took her out last night to get more weed, though I can’t be sure..but you book helped me to detach myself from that thought even of it were true..I have made a decision to make my Exodus, but in all honesty have been so off my emotional rocker from all this that I keep delaying…Last night, after all her verbal abuse, and even during, I was feflecting on some of the passages in your book, along with praying hard not to want to smack her…I was able to guard myself internally..I did not react the way I would normally..as I am not a shrinking violet and have all the ability to attack back…But last night I just said to myself..I am not going to let this effect me to distraction..I am going to care for me by letting her go off the wall, and not react..I was better for it…though I must confess I had a few moments that I was almost ready..Oy! Her fathers words to her about how wrong she was did not move her…and he doesn’t get that either. He takes her everywhere with him, and they are like 2 peas in a pod..he takes her to Church, takes her to meetings at Church..takes her to a friends food ministry, to which she has snuck home and I found her smoking crystal meth in my husbands shop with some people she met at the food bank! I even took a picture, she didnt know that I saw them..I was not looking for anything, I thought something fell in the shop so I went to look…He never confronted her with it…I think he is scared to death of this kid! He tells everyone how great she is doing and nothing can be further from the truth. He is in complete denial, or a very good actor..She knows just how to work him…No one wants her around them, and I have heard from friends that she has caused so much grief at any event he takes her to. She is foul mouthed, and always sneaks off to get high. I do not attend any event where she will be..period! I can’t do anything alone with my own husband without this kid around..she is not addicted to drugs…she is in love with a very evil spirit! The drugs are just one of the many effects and outlets…if she tells her dad to have one sugar in his coffee, he will even oblige that! It’s insane! And if I say anything, he defends her! I just sit back and watch this now because my only option is to get out of Dodge..My weakness has been from all the stress and anxiety I have allowed and taken on from all this nonsense because I, am by nature, not an enabler…but i do love deeply..I am going to try to use the steps to gain some control over me..with prayer..I pray, there but for the Grace of G-d go I! Will they work for this situation…I do pray so…or at least keep me in prayer….Oy vey! Sorry…I needed to vent…Thanks for listening! Debbie

    • Melody Beattie:

      Hi Debbie. As I’ve posted elsewhere, I’m up to my eyeballs in writing right now, so my time on my sites responding to posts has been, at best, minimal. I did want to take time to respond to your post, though. My heart goes out to you. Living with an addicted younster and a parent codependent on that youngster — hellish and nightmarish, hurtful and anger (rage) producing. You are indeed walking through a battlefield. Yet, you appear to “get it” — the codependency thing, and what you need to do to take care of yourself — even if you don’t have all the answers right now (which is to be totally expected — none of us do). I do know that a day, an hour, at a time — you will be Guided. I just wanted to tell you that whatever it is you feel? Completely normal and appropriate. However, it also sounds like you’re taking the high road by not acting on those motions, but instead of “reacting,” taking the actions you deem best. Someone (many, actually) have asked: Is it possible to become codependent on a codependent? My answer, always: They are the worst. It can be so frustrating to watch someone we love get manipulated, played, etc. while we can so clearly see what he or she needs to be doing to truly help the other person. It’s like they (the codependent) have a bag over their head and can’t see or hear the truth. Their actions can be as hurtful to us as the actions of an addict. It hurts when someone we love doesn’t see our pain, especially when a cyclone roars through our own home, and the other person says, “What? What? I don’t see anything.” Oy, is right. Please know that you are very welcomed to come to the site, post here (even if it’s to vent), and I know — KNOW – you will find the high road through this. Again, I am sorry that you have to go through this and were I to have a magic wand I could wave to make it all better? Well, I should then go through that wand away as I am not G-d and don’t know what’s best for anyone – sometimes even myself. I do believe though, that by following certain principles, we can all discover our path, one that works for us and others, a day, an emotion, an experience at a time. I hope we’ll talk again soon, Melody

  • Lindsay:

    Thank you.

  • Judy:

    Hi Melody, i am currently reading your book and I am really enjoying it. I am currently looking to change 4 different aspects of my life. All of these are doable but have eluded me all of my adult life. My question is, should I just ask for one miracle at a time, wait for the miracle and then ask for the next? These are all areas of my life that I am desperate to change and I am just not sure which I should ask for first.

    • Melody Beattie:

      Hi Judy. At this second, my time is limited. I literally have to run out the door. But please know that I’m not ignoring you. Over the next week, I will answer personally every post on the site. For now, a short form of my answer is: the important area of focus should be on the emotions that are coming up each day in your life as you do the activity. You should put all your requests and needed miracles on a sheet of paper, in the warm-up exercises — as the book advises — and then let go and focus on writing gratitude for yourself each day — how you feel, the emotions that are up (including confusion about which miracle to request as you need so many). The key to getting our miracles (and none of us get every single thing we request but we do get many “yeses” — many more than if we don’t ask — is not in looking outside ourselves, but in going within, and ferreting out the emotions we’ve pushed away or told ourselves are “wrong” for so many years. It might help if you slowly read the book again – and the reason I sugested doing the activities as I did is that the order is important. When this unusual practice of gratitude began transforming my life, I had stopped focusing on what I wanted and instead began focusing on what was going on inside of me. The truth is, I was so busy being at war with myself — how I felt, who I was, what I wanted — that I was exhausted, out of balance, and just plain overall desperate. By the deliberate practice of this activity, we bring ourselves into balance and a place of peace and power in our lives. It’s from that point that he miracles begin, and usually by the time they begin rolling in we’re so peaceful already we barely notice them. I will check back in, but I have had medical issues arise, plus I have been immersed in my writing (as that’s the only way I can write), and then this weekend exploded with busy-ness. I must run now, but I will be back and over the next week will respond to every comment on all three of my sites. I apologize for the delay, but my only option is to “hire somenoe to answer your posts” — and I asolutely do not want o do that. So if you –and others here, could be patient a tad longer, I will (in the words of General McArthur) be back, return, and get hte job done with a joyful and patient heart. Best, Melody

  • Brigitte:

    Thank you for your wonderful book. Practiced Gratitude every day and threw all my trials and tribulations I never guessed at 53 years old I would meet the man of my dreams, funny enough had resigned myself I would be alone forever. Now I add Gratitude for him each and every day! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  • angie:

    hi melody, ive been wanting to write to you to tell you how grateful i am for your book. make miracles in 40 days changed my life. i am a 23 year old woman who has been lost her entire life, trying to look for happiness, peace. i bought your book 2 months ago, at a time of darkenss in my life, i was going through a terrible break up, unemployed and deep depression. i spent 3 months on my pjs, cried every single day for months, yes i was lost. I started reading your book, trusting the unknown, not trying to control anything, and i cant even tell you how many miracles have been given to me by the univerese and god in these past 2 month. the first 2 weeks my list was dark, angry, it was all about frustration, pain and dissapointments. as weeks went by i started to see a change in my list, i wasnt as angry and frustrated, i was finding peace. i recieved my first miracle after the first week, the second week i got a job, an amazing job and in 12 months i will be opening my own bisuness. all the anger i felt about my break up is gone, its still hurt from time to time, but i have found peace. i had to redifine happiness, it looks more like peace. not being accepted by my ex bf family becasue of my religion caused me great pain i had so much pain and frustration inside of me i was miserable, but i couldnt let go. after the 40 days i finally let go, he let go of me and i had to let go of him and the pain i was feeling. not being accepted and loved by his family ruined our relationship, he made his choice, and your book helped me make my choice. i am a different person now, my relationship w my family is better, but the most important thing is, my relationship with myself is not judgemental anymore, but kind and loving. the list of miracles that have been given to me in 2 months is very long. i have an amazing job, i was able to let go, i accept the fact that his family doesnt accept me, i found PEACE, and im a better person. the miracles go on and on. i cant wait for god and the universe to deliver more and more miracles to me. THANK YOU; YOU CHANGED MY LIFE.

    • Melody Beattie:

      Hi Angie. While I would love to take the credit you attempt to ascribe to me, I can’t. You changed your life. It sounds like you workd your butt off to change, to accept, to surrender, and to do all the hard stuff that brings us the miracles and changes we want and deserve. Congratulations — and well done. Best, Melody

      • ANGIE:

        The miracles keep on coming, and i feel more at peace everyday. i continue to write my list everyday and most importantly i feel very save trusting the unknown.

  • wheezybird:

    Hello Melody! A year and a half ago my life was turned upside down. I was definitely in the unknown. I am not happy about the circumstances that brought me to that place, but I am so happy about the awakening that happened within me to heal and create the best me I could. I listened to “Make Miracles in 40 Days” and wanted to start right away with a miracle partner, but felt that no-one in my life fit the non-judgemental partner you described. Have you thought of offering a partner page? If we are all motivated to go on this journey and we don’t know each other when we partner there would be no judgement. Just a thought as I search within my group to find one. Also, Melody, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your honesty, your courage, and your simple communication style that have healed millions. I am truly greatful for your and your books. Oh, sorry if someone else posted something similiar. I didn’t have the chance to read all the posts. Thanks again!

    • Melody Beattie:

      Hi wheezybird. (Sorry for the delay in responding, but I’m up to my eyeballs in writing.) I’m glad you found some pieces you were seeking on the sites and in my books, but I must again tell you, as I’ve told others — youa re the person who changed your life. Congratulations. I’m glad you cared that much about yourself, because you are worth in. Best, Melody

  • Zee Tedesco:

    Hello again, soooo I’ve read a few post & I’m not sure about the forty day thing? Where is the structure for it? Do I have to buy the book or is this just a daily posting site with what’s going on in my life? Is it like dear Abby letters & all we need to do is wait for a response? Is it a give & take from each persons situation, or do we look to you for all the answers?

    • Melody Beattie:

      I responded to your post on the site too. But to that response I wanted to add “please don’t look to me for any answers.” Look to yourself and your HP. In case you don’t find the other response, what I said in it was that the site is a support site for people who buy (or take out on loan from the library), the book Make Miracles in 40 Days. It’s to answer any questions and support them while working that activity. I try to respond to each post myself, but the oldtimers on the site are so good and loving that they really don’t need me all that much anymore. I’ve been blessed with a great group of guests on my sites. Best wishes to you, whether you decide to do this exercise or not. If you don’t want to buy the bok but are interested in the activity, all libraries should have a copy of the book available for loan at no cost o you. (Without reading the book, the site won’t make any sense – or at least not very much sense, to you.) Also, I have the other sites at MelodyBeatie.net and .com. Those sites don’t require that you read any book; their purpose is to respond to people who feel a need to say something to me. But whatever you decide to do or not to do, you’re welcome to post at any site. Best, Melody Beattie

      • Mark:

        Dear Melody , Hi , how are you ? I read alot of your stuff on your Son , & your Mom, and I have read Miracle in 40 days quite awhile ago & I have it out, on my book review stand ! Good that you suggest the Library as Libraries are SO important and not very expensive at all … So I have been well , my 2 cats cheer me up and I am still playing upbeat even though the world seems a bit dreary …. I thought President Obama being re-Elected was a bright spot , but we have a tough road ahead even though he won . My mom Sheila is 82 and she has plenty of cultural & intellectual stimulus but she gets that ” lonesome feeling ” and doesn’t particularly like aging much …… I had a big date after a long time of not dating , then had a 2nd date with the same gal and I think she has blown me off in a kind of gracious way … I don’t think I was quite as ” ready ” for her as I could have been ? My book of Poetry TIME, is due to be printed & published ( if only self published ) soon ,but right now my printer is yet to work after buying around $ 66 of ink ….So I am not ” winning ” as much , but I am accepting my falls better and kind of enjoying the risk factor more …..I am trying to check in with your website every week or 2 and as all ways I enjoy reading what you write ! Thankyou for your Great Service to Me and many others I am sure . We all do what we can – eh ? Correct ? Peace & Happiness unto You I Pray , With Care , Mark Stephen Jones ” I Shall be one of the Pacific Northwest Poets “

        • Melody Beattie:

          Hi Mark. I”m sorry I haven’t responded to you (and others) over the past three weeks, but I am immersed in my writing. It’s the only way I can write. However you — and the others on my sites, are important to me, more important than you will know. That tragedy yesterday? Unbelievably horrific. Unthinkable. I just wanted to check in and let you know that I’m still here, and stil care about you and the others here. I have a busy day — but I wanted to check in and say that. Over the next five days, I will strive to respond to all comments on this and my other two sites. While I hate not being able to respond immediately, I would rather delay my comments, than hire someone to do it in my name. It sounds like you have a “life-like” balance of good and painful going on, and more than that, it sounds like you continue to show up for your life each day. That takes a lot, Mark. It takes a lot to care about people, care about our family, and keep caring about life — and yet you keep doing that and do maintain an upbeat attitude. I hope you know how important that is; I hope you know how important you are to many of us; and I hope you know how much you are cared about. You’re a good guy, Mark, and that is no easy task today. Best — and I will be back when I can respond to all in a more relaxed way. For now — I go to fight the battle of Los Angeles traffic. To other members of the site — please, if newcomers show over the next couple days, to those of you further down the grief road, I know you will extend a loving, caring hand and beyond that, will respond in a truly comforting and caring way to those in pain this time of the year. I took liberties and put a message from al of us here at the site to those harmed by the horrific tragedy yesterday in Connecticut, as I know that all our hearts go out to the survivors. I will return — and soon. Best, Melody

          • Mark:

            God Bless You and All of your followers Melody !! I think we All realize that a Writer must Write and that is what you do for a Living, so don’t apologize for that ! And yes it was a terrible tragedy in Conneticut and is a low point in our History …. But as my 82 yr old Mother said , we have to continue doing our lifes work …. Gun Control seems to be needed many yesterdays ago and boys especially need to learn & be taught to NOT take violent action because their feelings get hurt ! When guns are outlawed it will be only Outlaws who are left keeping guns … If all our young men & women had assurance that they could get a job of some kind after graduating high school or college , I think that would help the situation ! So I have read Melodys Book several months ago & I am starting to read it again to sharpen up on the details …..Example for recent readers of Miracle in 40 Days …… My Partner is God & I have a 38 year old Veteran Friend – Josh and I am a Vet age 56 ( you & I know I am 39 ho ho ) So # I Miracle Goal The President will Implement a Gun Control Plan this Year to Make us All much more Safe ,,,,A ) the Afganistan war will end sooner rather than later …….II. Mental Health & Family Therapy will Improve Greatly and will be Available throughout the Land …..III .Peace Begins with Me , I will come from a PEACEFUL Space and try to Meditate 300 out of 365 Days in 2013 …… 5 or 10 minutes is better than than 0 , but I tend to go 15-40 minutes sometimes ….. I will be an Authentic Lover or Loving Person and thereby INCREASE MY ENERGY ….. That will be my highest Miracle and in 40 Days I hope to see this come to pass more & more … A ) I will lend a hand to help my fellow man & women & child when and if I can ….. //// Finally I must Believe in Myself and the GodSelf within because as the Stoic Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote in his book : Meditations : ” DIG WITHIN , THERE LIES THE WELLSPRING OF GOOD; EVER DIG AND IT WILL EVER FLOW ! …… ” Lets Pray Melody will be Blessed with Good Health All Ways ? ! Amen ? and Amen ! Mr. Jones Seattle WA

    • Melody Beattie:

      Hi Zee. I’m sorry it took so long to get back to you — I’ve been “over my head immersed in writing.” But briefly: 1) no, you do not have to buy the book Make Miracles, but you need to work it to understand the activity. However, almost all libraries have it, so you can take it out on loan, for free. But to work, you must read it first. 2) This is the correct posting site for the Make MIracles book, but I believe it’s divided up into various areas to post in. and 3) Please do not look to me for your answers. In the book, “Make Miracles,” I laid out a specific forumula that takes about ten minutes a day. I would not have written it if I didn’t know that it works. However, the answers will come to you. This site is for any questions you may have about the process and it’s definitely not a “Dear Abbey” kind of thing. It’s support for people working the activity who either have questions, or want to share their experiences with others. it’s a “different” type of actvity, and that’s why I devoted an entire site to that book. Hope this helps. Melody

  • Leslie:

    The Miracle today, after 30 years of sobriety and following your writings for personal growth and improvement, I am still seeking how to be a better person. Today I found 2 books on a shelf: The Language of Letting Go and The New Codependency. I spoke at retreat this Fall where I told my story through ACA and ISA and opened some doors, shined in a few lights into dark windows. The light the brightest was my own hearing from other women how my story made a difference and helped them know they are not alone. The brightest awareness was my own, how the one part of codependency I still hold on to is thinking I can make it though this world by myself with little interaction. Your original book was with me during my fledgling years’ journey. I am no expert, I am a part of something greater than I, and the voice in me that would normally shout “run” is saying “stay”. So I bought the above today, start again, and know all grows and changes, especially me. I just want to thank you for starting and continuing this expanded journey.

  • Leslie:

    The Miracle today, after 30 years of sobriety and following your writings for personal growth and improvement, I am still seeking how to be a better person. Today I found on a book shelf The Language of Letting Go and The New Codependency. I spoke at retreat this Fall where I told my story through ACA and ISA and opened some doors, shined in a few lights into dark windows. The light the brightest was my own hearing from other women how my story made a difference and helped them know they are not alone. The brightest awareness was my own, how the one part of codependency I still hold on to is thinking I can make it though this world by myself with little interaction. Your original book was with me during my fledgling years’ journey. I am no expert, I am a part of something greater than I, and the voice in me that would normally shout “run” is saying “stay”. So I bought the above today, start again, and know all grows and changes, especially me. I just want to thank you for starting and continuing this expanded journey.

  • Tess:

    Melody, I came across this site in a desperate attempt to figure out why, at my husband’s 40 days of sobriety, we’re still hanging on to past wounds and resentments. Though he has committed to sobriety and practices the twelve steps daily, I can’t stop re-living the episodes, the screaming and insults, the violence, and his attempts to cheat. Months ago, when we half-heartedly entered marriage counseling together I waved off our counselor’s suggestions of AA meetings, al-anon and research into codependency. Some weeks later, after calling the police to report my abusive drunk husband, we both confronted his disease and he’s been sober since. Problem is, we never confronted my disease of codependency. I’m so conditioned to his old behaviors and full of resentment that I haven’t had a night in over a month without a horrifying vivid dream of him cheating, disappearing again, abandoning his family. Worse, I’m digging everything up in an attempt to resolve it and consequently not allowing him to heal. Still, I’m terrified to commit to him and risk the chance of being hurt again. I barely survived it the first time, as did he. After a roller-coaster of a week I realized something HAD to give. This evening I’m alone in the house with the baby, he’s gone- who knows where, I’m researching codependency and realizing my obvious signs of control patterns, denial patterns, and low self-esteem patterns, in that order. As he “gets better” I’m seemingly going into a darker place! What is going on? How do I let go and just trust it will eventually be ok? And will these horrible dreams ever stop? Thank you, T

  • Bruce Heinemann:

    Hi Melodie: Not sure my first email got through… so here it is again. Hi Melody: A friend of mine recently sent me a Thanksgiving greeting with this quote of yours: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” I currently have two best selling books co-published with and in all Barnes and Noble stores(now all sold out): The Art of Nature and The Nature of Wisdom. I am self publishing a new title: The Nature of Life.. It will be a perpetual calendar book. Here is the description on Kickstarter: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1626722426/the-nature-of-life-perpetual-calendar-book?ref=email I would very much like to use this quote of yours metaphorically matched up with one of my images for one of the days of the year. I am hereby seeking your permission for its use for this purpose.. I would be most grateful for such permission, and a copy for you would be my compliments. Best, Bruce Heinemann The Art of Nature® The Nature of Wisdom®

    • Melody Beattie:

      Hi Bruce. I apologize for you not receiving your response. My webmaster did some “tinkering” with the site security, and it’s resulted in some technical glitches. I did answer your email at 6:00 a.m. today — but I don’t see the answer posted here, so I’ll write it again. Although the copyright to Language of Letting Go (source material for the quote you want to use) is in my name, Hazelden has the sales and distribution license to the material. That means — especially for this kind of work and with “fair use” being such a nebulous thing, that you should go to Hazelden (www.Hazelden.org) for permission. If I were you, I’d get it in writing, and make sure the attribution in the book is in appropriate format. You may want to call Hazelden first (Hazelden Treatment Center, Center City, Minnesota) — they have a toll free number — and when they answer ask for their publishing division. They’ve had a heavy turnover so I’m not certain who’s handling this now. Hope this helps, and best of everything you need for your work to succeed. Melody

  • Edna Romero:

    Dear Melody, I have 32 years sobriety in AA. I attend a woman’s AA group called “The Rose Group”..”Rose” standing for Recovering Our Self-Esteem”. We have been reading from “Each Day A New Beginning” written I believe by Casey from Hazelton. I have suggested we read a weekly reading from “The Language of Letting Go.” When I brought this suggestion up it was mentioned that your book deals with codependency and not sobriety and AA issues. I think it does and would appreciate your commenting as to what I can say to my group at our next business meeting when I will bring reading your book. Can you lend me some support. Sincerely, Edna G. Romero, Sarasota, Florida.

  • Susanne Rieger:

    Hello Melody, Today I finally write you and thank you for this wonderful book. It helped me so much. In April 2012, I finished my Barbara Sher coaching class, but I didn’t dare to start working as a coach. Something was still missing. Then in May, I read your book. I was sitting on the terrace and reading you book – and suddenly I knew. “Oh my God, that’s it, that’s it. It’s the missing puzzle piece.” I was so happy, I was a sort of floating over the garden bench because I was so happy. Now I can start working as a coach, I thought. – I was so convinced that this is the way I can help people to find their path, their happiness and their peace as you write on your website. So I started immediately to do your practice, writing 10 things I’m grateful for… and my family life changed for better – to an extend I’ve never imagined to be possible. Today I read your text on your Home Page and was deeply touched… Your write things I had put on my big dream list 18 months ago – happiness, peace, my big goals! – Thank you very much for sharing. Melody, I’ve got one question concerning your book. You write in your book, be cautious when sharing your negative things (thoughts) you are grateful for with other people. – Do not all people have negative thoughts they don’t speak out loud only because they are afraid of the society’s reaction…? Won’t they be happy when finally somebody speaks them out loud? – Or do they tend to use those thoughts against you? – Why do you warn of speaking those thoughts out loud? Warm regards, Susanne

  • Neil Smith:

    I bought this book as reading material for a flight from Cape Town to Istanbul. During the past year i have attended a Mankind Project weekend and completed an integration process. I was so drawn to this process that i staffed at a recent weekend where 32 Men under went profound changes within 48 hrs. I have totally enveloped myself in to this programme and I am reaping the benefits daily. My wish has been for something for my Wife to help her. I will admit now that i have not read the whole book, but enough to make some associations with the process i have been through. I stopped reading as I want to give this book to my wife as a gift. I will give her the book and invite her to read it. I hope she will embrace the process.

  • Lisa Tyler:

    Time to share my Make Miracles in Forty Days story with y’all. I started the process in the midst of a huge life shake ‘em up. Day 1 found me just about penniless, unemployed, in a new town, grieving the ending of a romantic relationship, my Dad’s illness, my Mom’s issues…you name it. I wondered what possible difference reading this book could make, then thought “You know, I always grow by doing this type of work. Maybe I’ll get a little something out of it.” Each day I woke up, flipped open my journal and wrote “Today I am grateful that…” and let ‘er rip. Day 21 found me in a real dark night of the soul. My sweetheart and I broke up for good, nothing seemed to be going well in my world, or for those I love. It didn’t seem that life could possibly get better…hell, it just might get worse. I gave up all hope. Grace came then, and I breathed through the tears and emotions, got up the next day and wrote again. Miracles started showing up the next day. New friends showered me with kindness, fresh produce, herbs, plants, hugs. A women’s gathering offered up stories, songs, sacred sharing around a bonfire. I again wrote down the dream that I longed to harvest, and (somewhat cynically) tossed my folded paper into the fire. On Day 23, I was offered a personal loan with which to buy a home of my own. Within a few weeks I’d viewed a couple of dozen homes. Then stumbled on a foreclosure – an excellent, affordable deal on a pristine ranch home. Complete with acreage to create the permaculture gardens and orchards which will nurture myself and others. With enough space for a roommate with a green thumb to share. With abundant water, woods, and quietude. Today is Day ? (I’ve stopped counting the days but continue with the morning exercise). The packing boxes are piled high, the closing day draws nearer, and my faith in humanity and in my own ability to create positive change has been renewed. Now that’s truly a Miracle! Melody, thank you for your courage, words, and wisdom. Know that you are indeed empowering others through your life and stories. Lisa Tyler P.S. For more on this story, please check out the link to my blog below: http://overtlysimple.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/transitioning-with-grace

  • Zorro:

    Hi There everyone, I’m Zorro I am new on this site, don’t know how to get into the chat room. I tried coda’s site to confusing for me. So I decided to stick with Melody. Hi Melody Just want to say hello.

    • Melody Beattie:

      Hi Zorro. As I have said (or written) in numerous places, I’m immersed in my current writing project and not spending as much time (and sometimes no time) on my sites. I did want to say welcome, though. I apologize for difficulties anyone has with the Captcha on this site, but the second we loosen restrictions, bam. The spammers flood it with junk. I’ve had to learn, after I write my comment, to press Control A (or the MAC symbol for control plus A), then press Control C (or the MAC symbol plus C), so you have your post copied and saved before trying to get through the “guards” at the door. Also, pull up alternative Captcha terms. If you can’t read the second, try again. Your comment will be saved, should you lost your posted one. All you need to do is put your cursor in the “box” and press Control V (or the Mac symbol plus V) and your post will reprint in the box. But, do the Control A and then Control C thing again. It has made life easier for me. I wish we didn’t have to work so hard to keep the spammers out, but we do, and our webmaster does an excellent job. Also, Zorro, I wanted to add that I have additional “forums” at melodybeattie.net and melodybeattie.org. They’re free; sites aren’t monetized (all my books are available at the library — wherever you live), and the focus of the sites is service. There’s good codependency stuff and great participants at the melodybeattie.net site and in fact, a group of members have a 12-Step forum going there that I applaud. I do encourage everyone to register anonymously, so they respect the traditions and feel free to be completely honest. Best, Melody

  • eva starr:

    ok i got through the captcha, here’s my questions: what is the difference in writing i am grateful for as opposed to i am grateful that? also, i’ve kept a gratitude journal for over 20 years, i’d like to understand a little more what am i looking for when i write things i am grateful for that “appear” to be unfortunate? also, i’ve always “toasted” to apparent misfotunes in the past with the attitude “some good will come of this” is this the same type of thing one last question, the first day literally “flowed” and i am now on day 15 and I don’t have that same feeling…am I doing something “different” or “wrong” oops, i have another last question, does it really matter theraputeically to do it the “first” thing when you get up, sometimes I have to pee, brush my teeth etc. thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to answer these questions for me…

    • Melody Beattie:

      Okay, a few questions for you — did you slowly read the entire book, and do the “warm-up” actvities? If not, please do that, as it will help a lot. Also, read the sample lists, as they are real, taken and unedited (to my editor’s chagrin) from real life. Now, to your questions — your first is sematintics. You can write your list either way. What’s important is that you know you don’t have to feel grateful to be grateful. Okay? Question two — being grateful for something because we think something good will come of it is really a form of control. What we’re looking for in this exercise is total surrender and acceptance to how we truly feel about whatever — the good, the bad and the in-between. What we’re trying to get at are those feelings we censor because we think they’re wrong, or the ones (the feelings) we may be in complete denial about). Again, our goal is not to intellectually realize that some good may come of something, but to be in the moment, surrendering to who we are and how we feel each moment in time realizing that right now — this instant — we are absolutely okay. No control. No expectations. On the other hand it’s important to have our goal and miracle list written too, and then let go of that and give it to HP. Re your next question, the activity doesn’t always flow. You may be on the edge of something some part of you doesn’t want to see – or it may be you needed some of these answers. Or, there may be nothing right now to write — but don’t worry, it will come and the flow will return. I don’t do my exercise first thing in the morning, although it’s better when I do. My day tends to catch me up. I started this exercise in 1978 doing it last thing at night when the kids were finally in bed and I had quiet time and the house to myself. I had been practicing misery then, and decided to practice gratitude instead and it truly changed my world — and will for anyone that works this activity. So — do it whenever you want, but I continue to get to the tough spots when I do it first thing, before my denial systems are in place. This is particularly true when we have something we’ve hidden for a long time. When I began working this, I was extremely clear what I was in misery about. That’s not always the case, today — and it’s easy to get into censoring our emotions, even when we’re working hard to stay current. They call them “blind spots” because we cannot see them — and digging in, routing them out, releasing them and moving on will connect us with an unbelievable amount of spiritual and material power. Let me know how it goes. Melody

  • eva starr:

    i’ve tried writing before and it took at least 50 times to try the captcha words and it wouldn’t let me do it…so i’m going to try again before i write my lengthy questions…

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